11 pieces of modern parenting advice by two millennial strategists
What happens when two dads, who are also strategists, sit down to unpack a summer of parenting? That’s what I decided to do with Adrian Mediavilla. We had no idea if this was going to yield anything good; you be the judge.
You can watch the full video recording of our conversation, or read on for an outline of 11 modern parenting lessons, brought to you by two millennial dads who are trying their best and making many mistakes along the way.
Here are 11 practical lessons, somewhat vetted-by-strategists, for parents navigating early childhood, travel logistics, and family dynamics. Or just people who like to think strategically about complex topics. Like kids.
(Sample of two, but hey, this gig is nothing but lots of trial and error.)
1. Zero screens in the car fosters autonomy and observation
During a 25-day drive across Spain, Portugal, France, and Switzerland, Adrian instituted a strict zero-screen policy inside the vehicle. This may sound harsh, but instead of using digital devices to keep children passive, he encouraged his daughters to embrace boredom. Experiencing boredom teaches kids to observe the environment, stay present, and invent low-tech games such as license plate bingo, or spot the landmark. Priceless stuff.
2. Manage travel anxiety with ‘military-grade’ supplies
Long driving stretches can trigger anxiety in toddlers and young children. Especially if they already sense the journey is coming to an end. One solution? Pack far more food and water than you think you need. Routine, healthy snacking calms the nervous system and keeps travel fatigue at bay.
3. Step back to eliminate the ‘helicopter parent’ trap
As millennial parents, it’s easy to fall into the trap of feeling obligated to entertain children every single minute. But when adults constantly step in, they destroy organic sibling play and prevent kids from developing their own problem-solving skills. Giving kids space, even if it’s 15 minutes to play independently with cars or toys, teaches them self-reliance.
4. Use character personification to handle daily routines
Getting toddlers to cooperate with bath time, brushing their teeth or getting ready for dinner can be an uphill battle. Drawing inspiration from Pixar storytelling, you can personify everyday household objects to make the requests instead of you. Before you know it, the brushes, sponges, showers or forks have their own unique backstories and character voices, and kids are more likely to listen to them than to you. Harsh on the ego, but effective.
5. Complement bedtime books with ‘invisible stories’
To avoid lengthy book-reading sessions at bedtime, consider an "invisible stories" routine. These are narrative sagas, featuring recurring characters (usually the kid, or kids), that you completely make up on the spot. A word of caution though: children have extraordinarily sharp long-term memories. Be prepared to track character arcs and plot lines closely, as kids will readily catch inconsistencies or remember unresolved cliffhangers.
6. The 30-minute playlist rule for shared devices
To avoid music arguments during a month-long trip, Adrian’s family created a co-managed Spotify playlist divided into strict 30-minute rotation blocks. This is excellent advice for any experience with shared devices. Alternating media access in predictable time blocks teaches toddlers early concepts of time management, turn-taking, and compromise.
7. Let children lead the activity
To manage an extended family visit, like when you’re visiting grandparents or they’re visiting you, you want to have clear boundaries. Grandparents often feel compelled to introduce new stimuli when visiting, or get kids to do things the grandparents think they will like, instead of letting kids follow the lead. Encourage older family members to simply join whatever activity the child is already doing, rather than trying to redirect their attention.
8. Kids are surprisingly effective communicators
Children have a unique ability to deliver candid feedback without causing offense. So next time you feel your mum or dad are spending too much time on TikTok, smoking, losing their hearing or anything else, consider asking the children if they feel comfortable telling them about this (instead of you). If it comes from you, it’s probably the 1,000th time you’re nagging them about something. If it comes from them, it might cut that little bit deeper.
9. School uniforms are a secret source of pride
When my daughter transitioned to primary school, she commented that she would always cry in pre-school because she felt bored (and also, separation anxiety, but let’s leave that between us). Now she is more proud to go to “big school”, where they use uniforms, and it’s incredible how a consistent and somewhat more formal piece of clothing can make kids feel special. Not to mention that it makes morning dressing routines much, much easier.
10. Educational systems should focus on raising the ceiling too
When Adrian sought to move his English-proficient daughter into an advanced language class at the British Council, he met rigid, age-based resistance rather than merit-based placement. This is the problem with conventional educational systems: they want consistency to raise the floor, but sometimes this means they also remove the ceiling for kids who want to progress at a different rate. Parents must advocate for more tailored educational challenges to prevent their kids from becoming disengaged.
11. Controlled negotiations help form critical thinking
Rather than enforcing arbitrary rules, consider allowing children to present structured, logical arguments for extra treats or privileges rewards critical reasoning. Frame minor debates as logic exercises (when they can debate with you, of course). When children state clear reasons and negotiate respectfully, reward their reasoning to build communication confidence. It’s not as simple as saying “because I said so”, but probably has a huge amount of long-term benefits for their development.
Mandatory caveats
We didn’t talk about this stuff to show off how good we are. We make many mistakes every single day. But alongside those mistakes, there are lessons of when things can go very well, and this is intending to capture that. There are no perfect parenting tactics, but for now these work for both of us. So our invitation is to give some of them a go, take notes, and adjust as needed.
In summary: Parenting tactics you may want to try
Travel
Challenge: Long-haul drive fatigue
Tactic: Implement 3-hour max stages + zero-screen policy
Cooperation
Challenge: Daily routine resistance
Tactic: Use Pixar-style object personification
Education
Challenge: Classroom boredom
Tactic: Advocate for skill-based over age-based exercises
Socialisation
Challenge: Vehicle music disputes
Tactic: Establish 30-minute block-rotated Spotify playlists
Family
Challenge: Grandparent engagement
Tactic: Have adults join existing play rather than forcing new stimuli
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Written by Rob Estreitinho, a comms and social strategy consultant and the founder of Salmon Labs. You might also enjoy getting my newsletter. 6,000 readers at a 60% open rate, read by agency and in-house strategy leaders from all five continents. Subscribe below.
